


3:04AM

by oOReaOo



Series: 11: 57PM [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Distance, Heartbreak, Late night thoughts, Lost - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 22:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8465143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oOReaOo/pseuds/oOReaOo
Summary: It's like the flu: it has so many variations that I catch it every time, even with vaccines.





	

It's one of those nights again.

I've huddled myself under my blanket, knees curled up to my chest as I stare into the blank darkness of my room. The window is ajar, and I can hear the rain dropping on my window seal. My room smells of damp concrete and mud: It's a surprisingly appealing smell.

It's not cold yet, but Colorado is bound to freeze over tonight. The rain will turn to snow, and I'll be aching to cover myself with more than one blanket. Colorado does that, you know? It plays with you - I'd be insane if I didn't carry a pair of snow boots in the back of my car year round. Still, it's appropriate weather for a night like tonight. I can feel each individual heart beat against my rib cage. Each thump gives another vibration that makes its way from my chest to my throat. There's a slight burning sensation just below my Adam's apple. It's a bittersweet feeling that has rested in my chest tonight. A dull feeling of my heart clawing its way out just at the thought of your name.

I get like this every once in awhile because of you. You always seemed to worm your way into my mind late at night. I can't even say I'm mad at you anymore. I get a strange sense of nostalgia when I think of you. Then again, there was always more good than bad between us.

I always wonder where you are when I think of you. Did you move again? Are you still close with your mom? Are you in love with your boyfriend? My mind always attaches to the first question though: Did you move again? Do you still live in Aurora? Would we still be together if you hadn't moved? Was it distance that ruined us? Was it you? Was it me? Did you stop trying? Did I stop trying? Did I try too hard?

It will take hours to ease my anxieties. I was told that time would heal, and I would have stopped feeling this way. Well, maybe that's just wounds because this isn't much of a wound anymore. It's an illness. It's like the flu: it has so many variations that I catch it every time, even with vaccines.

And each time I miss you a little more than the last.

My mom still has the picture of us, covered in graduation garbs with toothy grind that reveal our missing front teeth. You were only an inch or two taller than me then. Your hair was a dirty blonde and thin - cut only a centimeter from your head.

You grabbed my hand that day and held it tightly - no words were spoken, but none needed to be. I hadn't fought your grip and you hadn't been two immature to touch me. We lived those days in ignorant bliss. I always thought we'd have a happy ending.

I was wrong about a lot of things.


End file.
